Don’t remind me
how long it has been.
Remind me that you are here
for me, with me, everytime.
Don’t talk about
how badly you miss them.
Sit with me instead
and talk about their favourite memories.
Don’t ask me
to be brave or strong.
Ask me instead
how I am feeling today.
Don’t hesitate
to ask me about my plans.
Help me instead
put my plans in place.
Don’t walk away yet
and let me wallow in my pain.
I may whine and cry and be shallow
but for now, be my supporting cane.
Emptiness
of the heart
struck by grief.
Emptiness
of the soul
caused by the strangulation of dreams.
Emptiness
of the mind
to silence the relentless voices
Emptiness
of the body
with no more energy to spare.
Emptiness
till eternity
Emptiness
till resurrection.
Losing yourself is like losing your religion,
For you shatter your soul with your hands
For you smother yourself with your own pillow
And let nothing touch it, leave alone salvage it.
Get up, wipe those tears
For no one can stand for you
For no one can breathe for you
And soothe that worthy soul.
Get up, build a new you
Who is strong as a rock
And resilient as a bee.
Until then, let nothing deter you
Nor distract you
Let those onlooking glances mock you
And spurn you
But don’t let them get in the way of resurrection
Of your soul and your identity.
With so much brouhaha about the recent experiment by Facebook using emotions of people to drive statistics, let’s ask ourselves as to why are we surprised by it? or worse, appalled?
Personally I check my Facebook practically every minute: to ‘stay updated’, ‘like’,’comment’ and so and so forth. I let myself be vulnerable to people to see through me as do the other billions of users.
‘Are you on Facebook?’ is the instant question when meeting somebody for the first time these days and that’s even before we know their address or mobile number. We run a mutual ‘like’ society with a lot of our friends. Sometimes I feel as if we have signed a secret pact to do this.
We even click pictures with a special motive to post them on Facebook and well mentally judge as to which one would get the maximum ‘likes’. Posting ‘check-ins’ is another matter of pride and glory even if it means you are saying ‘Feeling happy – at home’.
Like a friend of mine aptly commented – “Facebook with it’s magic wand of ‘Like’ can heal people with cancer, save dying babies and bring about world peace” (sic)
Having critiqued the Facebook lifestyle so much, I still feel that it is not the social media that is to be blamed as it was originally created to bring Harvard students get in touch with one another.
What needs to change is to judge how much is too much, whether to appreciate a friend’s achievement or to post something of your’s to top it, whether to post pictures of your vacation simply to show that your life is happening or to truly share your travel experience. All in all, I guess I’m saying that the superficiality has to stop.
And for heaven’s sake, let’s stop judging people by what they post and the fluency of their language. Facebook is simply social media, not a High School.
As for the question about privacy, we know better what to post and what not.
With all that said, I still am a Facebook addict with a hope to know how much is too much 🙂
To have that lovely smile when I came to life
and to lull me to sleep when you were craving for one.
To let me be the center of attention, even more than the wife
and to care for my things, leaving your’s undone.
To worry your eyes out whenever I naughtily slipped
and to scold me with a tear later to ensure non-recurrence.
To constantly fight with me when cooking together
and to doubt my clueless career decisions.
To finally tear me away from you to give to someone else
and to still call me your baby daughter.
To still believing that I haven’t learnt a thing
and to be there on call for every important fling.
You have come a long way with your struggles
to coach me to wisely fight all my battles
Am so glad that I had you all along,
can’t thank you enough for where I belong!
To the best man of my life – My father
We start our day introspecting in retrospect,
they begin their’s clueless.
We go through a planned morning routine,
they spare no thought about what goes on in their spleen!
We rush against time to make it to that meeting,
they strut and hop, screaming and fleeting.
We crave like a drug addict for our morning caffeine,
all they wish for is a gossip session in the canteen.
We ponder and plan and blame and criticize
everything from government to colleagues.
They like to debate on topics
that, next day, wouldn’t mean a thing.
We are constantly living between ages,
reminiscing past, introspecting today and romancing tomorrow.
For them, all that matters is a full belly,
quirky friends and an outfit to borrow.
We go to sleep with myriad thoughts,
of things done, half done and not done.
If it wasn’t for a dreaded exam tomorrow,
worries for them in this world are none.
Ages fast forward, people change.
We become a past memory and they become us.
They start their days introspecting in retrospect
while someone else begins their’s clueless.
Life’s small but great expectations-
The list is longer but I can live with these for now 🙂
She always sat with a diary
in her already convoluted head.
Chalking plans after plans
and waited till they were dead.
Every time that she was awake,
her mind was a chaotic circus.
Trying all her mathematical skills
of arranging events in an abacus.
From what college course to pursue
to when to start seeing someone.
From how to strengthen her career
to when to call it quits.
She knew when she would get settled
and who would she take those vows with.
Just waiting for that precious moment
and discarding all else like filth.
She even communicated with her unborn kids
and called them by the names she decided.
She envisioned all the ceremonies
like they were photo printed.
And all the things did happen.
The graduation, the marriage and the children.
Just not in that order nor like the vision,
and she sailed through them all like a premonition.
Today before she shuts her eyes completely,
she goes through all the photos,
the ones in her head and those for real
and she knows there’s so much that she missed in the middle.
Read in today’s entertainment digest that some XYZ actress is heading back to school to lead a “normal” life. Apparently, she considers the fact that people overseas don’t recognize her, a boon. She would like to head out for evening jogs and be able to interact with people without being hounded by the paparazzi.
I’m not amazed at this news, just a little amused. Amused to see how limelight affects people. We want to be the center of attention at gatherings and want everyone’s world to revolve around us. If you think this isn’t true, you are clearly LYING! We all want our existence to be felt. I’m also amused at how these stars struggled for all the recognition and are now battling for privacy!
This is not the first case, there have been million others where people have either died craving attention or have died because of it.
But whatever you say, getting noticed is everybody’s birthright. What we do with it is our perspective. We all want to be the life of the party, to be the one who’s jokes are laughed at by everyone and the one who leads the herd. Most of us are omnipresent, on Facebook or on Twitter. Most of us long to have our life events “liked” and “commented on” by people. Yes, MOST of us!
And then we begin shunning the “limelight”. We begin to crave for so-called “Space”. We don’t want people entering our homes at unearthly hours or giving us unwelcome advice. And do we get solace after doing all this? Hmmmm…
No, then we start running after “attention”, it truly is one vicious circle. The fact remains that we are social animals as we were taught in school. The important thing is to maintain the circles of influence, keep our family and friends closer and acquaintances along the periphery. It’s “us” who can protect our privacy.
So, just a few months for the big ‘O’ and as normal human behavior would have it, I am getting goosebumps.
There’s a plethora of emotions running through my head, of accomplishments, joys, sorrows and disappointments. I wonder why we are struck with these only in years that are in multiples of 5. But that’s a different research altogether.
Come to think of it, isn’t 30 just a number? Why is it considered to be a threshold, the one that defines our success?
Is it because you notice your skin sag a little after 30 or because by 30, you should have become a millionaire? Is it because by 30 you should have met your soul mate or that you should have traveled half the world?
Is it because you should have finalized your retirement plans by this age or even better, planned savings for your future children?
I say ‘Yes and No’. ‘Yes’ because in this world of constant uncertainty, keeping enough aside for rainy and dry days is a good idea. ‘No’ because you don’t have to be married or to have children to prove that you are settled. I strongly believe that the 30 of today is stronger then 40 of yesterday, stronger in all aspects.
So here’s what I think should help with the turning 30 woes and help you stay younger:
- Go out: Outdoors is where all the fun is. Whether it is just having a Girls’ Night out with your “besties” or watching a Soccer match with your male pals, spending time with your friends is a proven anti-oxidant
- Get back in touch: In this crazily busy world, somewhere we have all lost touch with our pals. It is time to pick up the phone and dial that one number that we have lazily overlooked over the years or utilize your great social media skills to dig up the lost contact. Sharing all the lovely memories should bring a pep in your conversations
- Embrace a hobby: So you were into gardening and philately once. What happened? How did your hobby get locked in the closet? It’s time to get back to basics, get back to spending some time with yourself
- Learn a new skill: Think you can strum a guitar only when you are in teens or you can dance like Shakira only when you are young and lean? Skills know no bounds and no age. You are never too late for anything
- Explore your Wanderlust: Travel to exotic, adventurous or family destinations. Give yourself a break from the daily grind and you will be surprised by the therapeutic results
- Discover new horizons: You know you have not been performing your best at work because you find it very mundane. Do not continue to whine and be a center of negativity for others. Think about what else can you do to achieve a life of purpose. This is where your skills come into play. Whether it is going the entrepreneur way or exploring something totally different, learn to be your own boss
- Exercise those lazy muscles: In your 20s, metabolism rate is no longer what it used to be when you were in teens and could gorge on anything under the sky. Adapt a healthy diet accompanied by an exercise regime and you could trick your body into thinking it is younger
So, these were just some basic antidotes. Above all, stay happy, smile more often and experience new adventures. I’m sure trying all of these 🙂
Happy Turning 30!
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